Accountability!
The other day I saw a post on mental health which says something like, “If it doesn’t give you peace, then walk away! You don’t need to explain anything to anyone!”
On the surface, that looked like a powerful quote — if we won’t prioritize our happiness, who will? We should do what’s best for us! But it made me think, have we started using mental well-being as an excuse for running away from accountability?
One of my friends who recently went through a nasty breakup started online dating, but online dating is no cakewalk either (more on online dating some other time). After a few weeks of trying hard, my friend realized that talking to new people is not yielding any happiness, rather a lot of distress! So, taking a break and not getting involved with anyone at this time seemed like a good decision!
But this realization came only after several meaningless small talks, chatting with three people for a few weeks and talking to another for two weeks! And when my friend deleted their online profile, it was so sudden and spotless, as if they never existed online, with no message to let anyone know that they won’t be coming online anymore! And the rationale was — everyone should think of their mental well-being, you should do what’s best for you, we don’t owe anyone any explanation!
I’m glad my friend did something they felt was the right thing to do for their happiness! But, what about the person on the receiving end? Should something that yields mental peace for one cause despair for the other?
I’m a big proponent of mental health awareness. I support doing things that bring us happiness and not forcing things to please society or others. I’m not suggesting to be in a toxic relationship, romantic or otherwise. I’m not proposing to be a wimp so others can take advantage of you. I’m not suggesting to do anything because it is a socially accepted way of doing it!
If walking away can help eliminate stress for you, then run as fast as you can; if you don’t feel like partaking in any conversation, stop talking; if blocking someone gives you some tranquility, by all means, do that!
But still, be accountable for your actions! Doing things for your well-being need not be mutually exclusive to doing it empathetically! You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but be mindful not to start a chain reaction of hurting someone to feel better, someone who might hurt someone else to do the same!
~~Poornima
