I once had a friend…

I once had a friend I used to talk to almost every day. We’ve known each other for a short amount of time, but we clicked on a level that was not easy to explain. We never used to plan when and what we will talk about because it was natural for us to talk to each other. Sending random jokes, news articles, talking on the phone, gossiping about someone we both know, making a bucket list of things we want to do and places we want to visit were essential components of our typical day.

There was no commitment that we’ll stay friends forever, but that was the assumption, the very premise of our plans that when we grow old, we’ll be living in a hill station. Our future houses were close enough to meet every day for evening tea but far enough to have some privacy. I know, they were just fairy tales, daydreams that we were hardly going to remember when we grow old!

Then one day, I don’t even remember why we stopped talking!

It wasn’t a slow death where you slowly grow distant, but it was so abrupt that my mind couldn’t even process it to give any reaction! In one day, things changed so drastically. All the conversations, the plans, and the daydreams, they all just disappeared as if they never even existed! For many weeks or maybe for months, I didn’t even acknowledge that something has changed in my life. And to be honest, my life didn’t even change much. New people came, some stayed back, some left. I checked off some items from my bucket list and added a few more to it.

And then one day, maybe years after, I was sitting alone, and I felt void! The void was deep, and the pain I felt was poignant, hard to express, but I knew what I was feeling. I was missing my friend, but it was too late to do anything about it. Every experience, every person you meet or leave behind, makes you a different person. I wasn’t the same person I was when I used to talk to my friend.

I still don’t know what exactly happened. Maybe there was some misunderstanding, or perhaps it was some nasty day when both of us decided to wait for the other to text first! And that one day became one week, one week became one month, and so on. Possibly, we both wanted to talk and were expecting the other to reach out first, to break that invisible glacier that had come in between our friendship, but regrettably, nobody did!

I wish things were different. I wish I would have reached out to my friend before we turned into strangers again.

Unfortunately, we won’t be sharing that cup of tea, but I hope the tea would taste equally sweet, and the fresh air of the hill station would make the day a bit brighter for my friend when we grow old. When we reminisce about life, we think about all the good memories, and we smile when we see we don’t have anything left on our bucket list to check off!

~~ Poornima